CARE OUT LOUD
Interview with Kathi Randall - Part 2
Mary Coughlin:
You know, it's so beautiful, though, about what you you were sharing ~was, if you remember at the very beginning~ when we first started talking, and I asked you about nursing, you know, and you shared that.
I mean, this is my translation of how you shared it. But it was like an aha moment. You know, it was this combination of some of the stuff that you loved about medicine, but that you also got to be there for that human experience. And To me, that's really, if you had to boil this concept of trauma informed care down to one little concept, that's what it is.
It's about seeing the human being behind the disease and really wanting to, you know, just 100 percent authentically be there for that individual. It's not, you know, it's not either or. And I think a lot of people were looking at developmentally supported care as either or. I can either save this person's life.
Or I can provide developmentally supportive care, but people struggled to connect to the two. But I, I think what you said at the very beginning really is an indicator that we have that core wisdom and insight already in us, but oftentimes it gets stripped away and overshadowed by this incredible reductionist approach, you know, this very Empirically oriented task tasks.
Yes. Thank you. Exactly. And we're as, as caregivers, we are so much more than our empirical knowledge. Right. And we need to start really acknowledging that and, And honoring that so that we have the courage and our colleagues, you know, I mean, all of the folks that you role model I see when you do this, you, you encourage them to be creative.
Well, creativity is a facet of knowledge, right? And it represents your personal knowledge, what you've read, you know, which could be attributed to empirical knowledge. You know what I mean? And so we really are invited to kind of get re connected. To our, our true selves.
Kathi Randall:
Yeah, I think it's what makes us each unique, right?
Like it's, it's how, and I hope that that people see you and I and others in our, in our group who, who kind of work and share this space that I hope people see. That it's about collaboration. It's, it's not about competition. It's about, you know, all of it is about serving the baby. All of it is about serving the nurses and the other health healthcare providers that are in that space, because when you do it through your lens and I do it through my lens and Kara or Sue do it through their lens.
Like it's all complimentary. Yeah. Right. I don't, I never see it as, as competitive. I see it as As I, because I'm unique, my experiences and what I read and what I, what influences me is different than what you read and what influences you and the people you hang with in your community. And in, you know, and so I feel like we could talk about the same thing in totally different ways.
And for some people they'll be like, when Mary's like, I'll think I said that. And then they're like, but Mary said it like that. Right. And you probably feel the same way. Like you're like, but I said that, but Kathy said it like that. Right. Yeah. I think the value of that kind of uniqueness and to just say.
And in the end, it's all about how can we impact the way we deliver care and it comes from different, ~different ~perspectives and, ~and ~that it's, to me, it's like, ~it's,~ that's the beauty of it all. ~It's that it's, it's, ~we both have similar whys, but our hows are different and our who like us, like, you know, we serve different kinds of people.
That's totally awesome because, you know, that's a so such an eighties term, but we've totally awesome. But. Yeah. But I think that's the beauty of it because there are so many different diverse people in the NICU.
Mary Coughlin:
Absolutely.
Kathi Randall:
It's opportunity that way.
Mary Coughlin:
You made me think of flavors of ice cream, right?
I mean, not everybody likes chocolate, you know, not everybody likes strawberry, but it's all ice cream. And, and, you know, I think You, myself and all the amazing people that we've gotten to work with and so many more, right? So many of our predecessors you know, we're all still ice cream, you know, we're all trying to share and sweeten up you know, some of the sorrow and sadness in other people's lives.
And, you know, it's, it's how we resonate with different folks. It's not all vanilla. It can't be, you know it would, it would be horrible. Wouldn't it? My goodness.
Kathi Randall:
Yeah. Although I do love vanilla, but Yes, I do. I do too.
Mary Coughlin: I do too. .
Kathi Randall:
Well, we can start with vanilla. It all starts with vanilla, right? And then we just add, we have our toppings.
We all have our different toppings.
Mary Coughlin:
Exactly. Exactly. So when I first You know, I approached you about doing this and I told you the name of the, the podcast that it was care out loud. I just, I have to ask you what what ran through your head, you know, like, what is it, you know, what thoughts did you have.
And now kind of as we're coming towards the end of our, our discussion. Did you have any formulations of ideas of what it would mean then. You know, what is caring out loud look like? What does it mean to you?
Kathi Randall:
Yeah. I do love this hashtag care out loud. I think that it I, I mean, I, I love it. And I have like a bazillion thoughts that are running through my head.
I think,~ I think~ the thing that pops to mind first, which would be something that I talked a lot about during, during our kind of lockdown and pandemic. To to my community was about making your practice personal again. And to me, caring that that to me is the first thing that comes to mind when I think of caring out loud is when you come to work to the bedside to whatever it is your role that you you perform in no matter in nursing or not, you mean we're providing service, right?
That's What we do, whether, ~whether~ you think of it that way or not, we're providing this service and when you care out loud, I think it's about doing it with your own personal flavor, to use your, your term and your ice cream analogy, which is amazing. I think it's, it's that it's about. How do I show up and care and how I show up and the things I do in my daily practice are me.
I cannot control many things in the NICU. I cannot control many things that happen at the hospital, but I can control me. And, and sometimes that's the only thing we can control. How do I show up? How do I show up? How well rested am I? How well hydrated am I? You know, how, you know, ready am I to give care.
And, and I think what you've demonstrated with. With all of your work is just, you know, having us have this very comprehensive, holistic look at the environment, the emotions in ourselves, our patients, our colleagues. Yeah. And that to me is what carrying out loud is. It's to take that look at yourself and say, how do I show up?
And then,~ and~ to do ~that~ the best you can do.
Mary Coughlin:
Because you're absolutely right. It's the only thing that you can control is yourself and everything emanates from that self, whether that self is full and joyous or, you know, half empty and, and depleted, whichever way you show up, that's what's going to be expressed.
And so we, we owe it, we owe it to ourselves, certainly. And we certainly do owe it to those that we. You know that we attempt to comfort and care for in the course of our work personally and professionally to really care out loud. Consistently, the first time that word kind of like, you know, it came out of me was I was talking with this fella.
And he was helping me do some video stuff, you know, we were doing some video stuff out at out in Summerlin hospital out in Las Vegas. And you know, for marketing and, you know, to kind of introduce myself and I was actually talking about this nurse who just really made a big impression on me.
And I was trying to. I was trying to describe her and I couldn't find the right words. And it was like, she's just one of those people that just cares out loud. Oh, she just emanates this energy, this authenticity that translated into care out loud. And then that word just has kind of like stuck and hung in the back of my head.
Like I have to do something with that because it, it just felt so like powerful. Yeah.
Kathi Randall:
Yeah. Right. There's no, like it says everything without needing to say ~any, it says everything without needing to say~ anything. ~Yeah. Yeah.~ But you also know it, ~like you said, you like know it ~when you see it.
Mary Coughlin:
Right? It's so true.
It's so true.
Kathi Randall:
But I think we all do it, ~right?~ We all are always caring out loud. And so then that goes back, ~like I said,~ to that responsibility, that accountability of like, how, how do you show up? Yeah. Because we are always carrying out loud. You may not be thinking you are, but that eye roll or, you know, that comment that you make standing somewhere like, yeah, we're always demonstrating it.
Mary Coughlin:
Yeah, high care or low care or however you want to translate it. We are. And and again, it comes back to the, the idea of presence that you spoke about at the very, very beginning. We really need to be present in each moment. We need to be present to the work that we're doing. And and I think that this is happening.
I mean, I really do feel like there's an awakening in healthcare. It feels pretty grassroots, but that, and I think. Unfortunately, or, you know, I mean, mixed blessings that the COVID pandemic really just highlighted this huge gap, this gaping hole in the humanity, humanitarian dimensions of healthcare that they weren't there.
And I think many of our nursing colleagues and our, and our physician colleagues are recognizing that that can not no longer be the status quo. Yeah. Yeah. So true. People are really showing up and looking for more ways to feel whole themselves. Because if you don't feel whole yourself, you're not giving your best.
Kathi Randall:
You're not able to. Yeah. I just, I'm just thinking of how tragic it was to, you know, to hear about families who couldn't be with their loved ones. Like, I think that's like the most like visible and like visceral. Yeah. The example. Yeah. Of, of what that, like, what it, what it's taking us to see, right? To be able to acknowledge that there's this lack of humanity, like you said.
Yeah. Like, how do we let that happen? Yeah. Fear.
Mary Coughlin:
Oh, yeah, fear. I mean, it's just a bit and you know what you just made me think of. And how do we overcome that fear, though? I mean, you know, I don't know what most people think of is the opposite of fear. Maybe they think it's courage. But for me, the opposite of fear is love. You know, because within love, that's where you have the courage to take the, the right next step to take the right action, to stand up and, you know, step out of line and say, no, yeah, this can't be the way we're going to practice.
We are crushing these families and ourselves at the same time.
Kathi Randall:
Yeah. Oh, the nurse stories. I remember thinking of the girls at St. Joe's, you know, down in Tampa that we know well, who, who were on as charged that day when they had to tell families one visitor and when you leave, you can never come back.
Yeah. I mean, the trauma that that caused provide, you know, care providers who were like, I am going to separate you from your baby. Yeah. I mean, yeah, they, they were like, I can't do it anymore. Can I, I'm not coming back tomorrow. Cannot do this. I mean, it's just like, even in the NICU, we were as insulated as we were from a lot of it.
We had those moments too. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's when we all really realized, right, how, how far we'd come with family centered care, but then like how quickly we were able to get rid of it, how fragile, yeah. Oh yeah. And, and how it's taken almost, you know, the entire time since the early onset of lockdown to even get us back, even in some places not quite yet.
Mary Coughlin:
Still not quite back. Yeah. It's.
Kathi Randall:
Oh. Yeah. Nice. It's just frightening, but yeah,
Mary Coughlin:
so thank you. That's the most perfect, the most perfect description of care out loud.
Kathi Randall:
So I think it's so true. I think it's, I just, you reminded me of something, so I'll add it just in case it's useful. But I was. Many years ago at a conference where Dr.
Jamie Jameson gave a talk and, and he talked about this Buddhist quote, which is why me, why this, why now? And it's such a simple, it's such a simple saying, why me? Why this, why now? And we can say it in kind of a pouty way, like, Oh, why me? Right. Why me this baby? Why me this family? Why me float? Why me?
Isolation, like whatever. Why me? Why this 24 weeker at 6. 05? You know, why me? Or we can say, why me? Why me? What can I bring uniquely to this moment? Why me? Why was I here? I could have been off today, but I'm not. It could have been at 7. 05, not 6. 05. I think when we take that idea of why me, why this, and why now, it really does interject back into that caring out loud, because you take personal disaccountability, personal
Responsibility for saying it's me in this moment for a reason, and that's your opportunity to care out loud right to not just say, Oh, why me, but just say why me, have I, do I have something that I am able to offer this family that somebody else couldn't I've had a loss similar to them I've had an experience.
I've done this before so I can guide them, you know, why me. Yeah, and I love that quote. Because I think it can help to reset us sometimes. And it's just such an easy thing to remember. So I'll credit it to him for, for bringing it out in a lecture many years ago that it's just stuck with me. Stuck with you.
Mary Coughlin:
It's so profound. It's, it's absolutely beautiful and a beautiful way to wrap up our, our conversation. I am so grateful for you. I need to ask you now, just one final. Fun question. Okay. This is a surprise question. I heard it on one of Brené Brown's podcasts that she asks some of her, her guests at the end of their interview.
And so it's a little revealing now you're ready. Okay. Yeah. What, what is on your nightstand?
Kathi Randall:
Many things.
Mary Coughlin:
Tissues. Yes.
Kathi Randall:
Essential oils. Of course. My I have this awesome three way charging thing that I can put my watch, my headphones, and my phone on. That I love. Always water. Always water. Yes. And that's about it. Is there that? That's an
Mary Coughlin:
interesting question. Well, I mean, because I think what a different side of who you are.
I mean, that's a pretty, that sounds like a pretty neat and organized nightstand. Mine is not. Neat and organized. So I think it just kind of gives us a little peek into Kathy's, you know, personality and you know, how she approaches her, her day to day.
Kathi Randall:
Has three drawers that are like. handful of stuff.
Mary Coughlin:
Oh, I love that piece. No, you did not.
Kathi Randall:
Which I think now to your point illustrates well yeah, I try to focus on the, on the outside, but really it's like within my arm's reach. I have three very packed drawers,
Mary Coughlin:
but I'm sure they're really rich with very important things that. Obviously, you know, you could need at a moment's noticed, so you must, right?
Kathi Randall:
Lip balm. Of course. Yes. More oils.
Mary Coughlin:
I know, I don't think we mentioned it Kathy, that you are, that you're an essential oils expert.
Kathi Randall:
Yes. Yeah, that's, that is another one of my many passions. And one of my first businesses, yeah, one of my first businesses was called Green NICU, where I was interested in helping to remove environmental toxins from our baby's environment, from our staff environments, and from our communities.
And that was is still very important to me that we identify and eliminate these things that can cause sickness to, you know, to us.
Mary Coughlin:
I mean, how impressive is that? Just one other hat that, oh my gosh, we forgot to mention that other entrepreneurial pursuit, but I think, you know, what you're really highlighting here, Kathy is that you're only limited by your dreams, you know, and you dream big, you dream in variety, you dream in technicolor and you, You are always looking for a solution and many times that has really panned out for you.
And when it pans out for you, it, it absolutely pans out for others as well. So I I'm just so freaking blessed and, oh, I bet I can't say that I am so wicked blessed and excited that you were able to share your time, your expertise, and your incredible wisdom with us today. Thank you so very much, Kathy.
Kathi Randall: Oh, always my pleasure.
