Mary Coughlin: [00:00:00] Well, welcome to season two, episode one of the Carol Out Loud podcast. I thought I would kick off the new year and this new season with a solo episode. Sharing some thoughts and some articles and recent reads with you guys. But before I get all nerdy. I thought I would open up about my journey to become a passionate pioneer of trauma informed care in the NICU and beyond, as well as a visionary for a new healthcare paradigm, even a societal paradigm, that recognizes the pivotal role of compassion, connectedness, and love.
In health care and beyond, and in fact, compassion, connectedness and love are what my team and I feel are critical caring essentials for all health and human service professionals working with babies, children and their families in all settings. But I digress. Okay. Back to my story. I usually attribute my awakening to the concept of trauma informed care [00:01:00] to an incredible clinical experience I was privileged to assume as the director of professional practice, education, and research at a tiny community hospital just on the street from where I live.
Many of you may have already heard this story in, in one of my presentations, but I was drawn to apply to the position because, to be honest, of the wicked cool job title. Director of Professional Practice Education and Research. However, little did I realize That that job was going to change everything for me.
I had to step in as the interim nurse manager on the inpatient adolescent psych unit during my tenure there. And I was well supported from a clinical perspective. But that experience was really the beginning of seeing the world in a completely different way. These young children were critically ill in a way that I had never observed before.
There were no machines. There were no monitors. You know, like in the NICU, you know who the sickest [00:02:00] person is in the unit as soon as you walk through the door. But these children were critically ill in a way that was very different. Their severity of illness was truly life threatening and actually had a lot to do with their early life experiences.
So diving into my discovery, and I'm air quoting that one, of trauma and trauma informed care has actually propelled me on a lifelong journey of self discovery, transformation, as well as insatiable nerdiness. When I combine what I continuously learn about trauma and trauma informed care with my clinical background as a neonatal nurse practitioner, imperative opportunities abound.
And these opportunities manifest themselves as not just clinical practice strategies, but as profound ways. Of [00:03:00] of being and becoming ourselves and how we show up to others. I read this really cool recent article. It was by Bryce at all published in 2021 and I'll share the citation down in the show notes.
I was intrigued by the title because the title of the paper, let me just pop on over here to make sure I accurately, it was a systematic literature review of the career choice of helping professionals who have experienced cumulative harm as a result of adverse childhood experiences. And they actually defined cumulative harm.
I'm just going to try and. Scroll down here that the cumulative harm is being as being the effects of multiple adverse circumstances and events in a child's life. The impacts of which can be profound and exponential and they diminish a child's sense of safety, [00:04:00] stability, and well being. In the kind of the abstract summary piece of this literature review, they summarized that the family of origin dysfunction, parentification, which is basically when a child takes on parental responsibility for their siblings, Individual characteristics and traits that develop through the adversity and experiential motivations as a consequence were associated with the career choice in helping professionals.
And I think you'll find the paper really interesting because they also although the articles that they curated. Didn't really address race necessarily or even specifically to any big pot gender variances. There was a preponderance of identification of female gender associated with a lot of the helping professions.
And so of course, you know, in their [00:05:00] conclusion, they do recommend further research. But as I was reading this, there's I discovered that there was this whole other body of research that examined that what influences an individual's career choice and it's called career construction theory or CCT.
That, that's their little acronym. So many of you guys might be familiar with this. This was really new for me. And one of the propositions from this career construction theory stated that career construction is prompted by vocational development tasks, occupational transitions, and personal traumas that produce specific responses.
To life experiences and and I thought that that was a real fascinating concept this idea of vocational developmental tasks, and it's also underpinned by that motivation piece and and in the paper, they talk about how the motivational piece is really [00:06:00] that kind of gumption that people that survive and and and are able to move through So difficult and traumatic situations sometimes get this this determination that I'm not going to let this happen to anybody else.
I'm going to do something to mitigate this experience from, from from happening. And sometimes it's like overt, you know, they just kind of say it right. And it becomes, they're like, they're What do you call it? When well, fudge, I'm losing my train of thought here, but you know, that thing that guides them, the, you know, through their life and stuff.
And sometimes it's less obvious, you know I know many of my colleagues, you know, will say, you know, Oh, I wanted to be a nurse, you know, All, you know, from my early childhood and I have heard some of my colleagues actually say, I was a patient in the hospital. If you guys remember back in season one Jaylee talked about her experiences as a young [00:07:00] child in a hospital environment.
And that really prompted her to want to become a nurse. I didn't have those kinds of experiences. But I, you know, in looking back through this paper and really kind of trying to unbundle my own story And I certainly don't want to bore you with my early and not so early life experiences, but this theory really has helped me unbundle my own story and in so doing, gain deeper insight and wisdom into the who that I am that shows up to my life.
And I think, you know when you kind of Look at the work that we do at Caring Essentials, that we support and facilitate through the journey of becoming a trauma informed professional, and other great traditions and educational offerings promote and provide and support and endorse is that self discovery process, right?
That in understanding who you are, You gain a bigger and better and deeper insight into [00:08:00] others lived experiences and I quote often the work of Jean Watson, and, and she's always reminding us, Jean Watson is a nurse theorist and I'm a care test coach. Continuously gaining deeper insight and wisdom into her work and her theory that in understanding myself, I gained deeper insight into understanding others, right?
Because we are one in the same in in an existential kind of way, even in an ontological way. And that brings me to the read that I wanted to share with you guys. So in addition to the article that I just shared with you, and I am going to touch upon this other article too, not to totally overwhelm you, but I feel like it sets the stage for us.
You know, we've just transitioned into a new year and we're invited and oftentimes we're inspired, right? to wipe the slate clean and start again. And so I think, you know, [00:09:00] kind of opening up the year with a different way of looking at the world, maybe even considering a different paradigm could really be transformative or at least inspirational for you as well as myself.
So the book that I wanted to mention to you guys is called Intra Connected. And I have it over here on my desk. It's looking at this idea of me plus we equaling we. And it's written by Dan Siegel. I Don't know how many of you guys are familiar with Dan Siegel, but he is a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine.
He's also the executive director of the Mindsight Institute. And he's authored many, many books to include the mindful brain, the mindful therapist. He writes a lot about interpersonal neurobiology. That's also a textbook of his. He's written the whole brain child the power of showing [00:10:00] up and the developing mind.
I've actually gotten several of those books and they're really super cool and very interesting. And so this book, the interconnected book explores the, the fundamental question. Of how we define who we are what the self is, and he proposes that science can now build on what we're learning and what thousands of years of indigenous and contemplative wisdom traditions from around the globe have taught us.
that seeing the center of who we are as only in the body or bodies like ours as a solo self, like a super focused super focus on the individual is It's not only erroneous, but it actually is dangerous and potentially lethal. And Dr. Segal hypothesizes that many of the world's greatest challenges, from racism and social [00:11:00] injustice to climate change and polarization, can be seen to be caused by this modern messaging, if you will, of self as separate.
And well, I'll, I'll mention that in a second. So he suggests that this interconnected perspective invites us to reflect on the evolution of life and on our own personal journeys across the lifespan. As we take a practical deep dive into identity and belonging. Basically what he says is that I am a me.
Right. I am me. I am Mary Coughlin, but I am also we, I am part of a larger whole. And when we can see ourselves interconnected in that way, it facilitates a more integrated appreciation and recognition of who we are collectively. And hopefully that that can help Break down some of those silos start to [00:12:00] eradicate our prejudices and our othering, if you will to embrace belonging, the, and, and this integration of self identity with belonging not only with the human species, but with nature at large.
He actually even did this really cool paper with a co author who's the co author there? Chloe Droulis, which I thought was wicked interesting, and it talks about this interpersonal neurobiology perspective on the mind and mental health and and including planetary well being. And in that, there's this little excerpt that I that I And it talks about how in medicine, when we encounter a cell that acts as if it is separate from the rest of the cells in the body, we call it cancer.
It may well be that viewing self as identical to the individual has inadvertently [00:13:00] created a cancer of modern culture. And we are living with the chaos and rigidity of the suffering that arises from such a non integrative Construct that in the paper they talk about, and I love the use of this word aching, they talk about an aching of the psyche of individuals, humanity, and all living systems on the planet Earth as a consequence of our separatedness.
And if we can return to an integrated perspective, integrated flow with all that is within us, between us, and around us, and really become what he calls MWE, M W E, and find deeper meaning in our interconnectedness, that this may be the way back, the way back to our true selves, the way back to our healthy planet and, and healthy society.
And I just found that really fascinating and [00:14:00] the connection between this concept and the idea of trauma informed care I think is so profound because, you know, many folks will come up and ask me, gee whiz, Mary, how am I going Do trauma informed care. I'm already, you know jostling all of these other tasks.
I've got too many plates spinning in the air and I get to come back to them and say, you know, this, this, it's not about doing. You know, trauma informed care is not about doing. I mean, there are things that we have to do, right, as health care providers, as human service professionals. There are actions, but it's how we do the actions.
It's in the being piece that really Becomes transformational because then we get to be with another person. We get to be with the situation, the circumstance, we become part of [00:15:00] the context, but we have to remind ourselves, right? Just like anything, we get to choose how we show up. We get to choose our presence.
And just a little bit of a reminder that opting not to choose. Is a choice. You know, many of us abdicate our autonomy. We abdicate our responsibility and say, Oh, I don't have a choice because this is how the culture is. This is how I have to be. And I understand. That choosing differently can feel scary and vulnerable and requires courage and conviction.
But you really do get to choose. You, you, you truly do. And, and I think you only come to that discovery of your own power by doing the work of unbundling your story, discovering your essence, discovering the origins [00:16:00] of who you are, and, and Why you're here. What is the work that you've been called to do? Is it Marianne Williamson that has that really cool quote about Our greatest fear is not discovering that we're not enough, but discovering that we are more than enough, right?
That we are all powerful, that we, and, and, you know, and with the benevolence, benevolence of power, right? That we can do and accomplish and achieve whatever we choose to set our minds to. None of that means anything's easy, but we do get to choose. anD we get to choose in each unfolding moment what our next step is, what our next response is.
As I said, you know, there are challenges and perceived obstacles that may impede what we think we want to do, but if we can be open and accepting of what is unfolding before us, right? You know, you [00:17:00] step into work and this is an is thing. We can choose how we navigate. That experience that situation and live more intentional lives more awakened lives.
And I think many of you guys. And if you're listening I'm going to assume that, you know, you kind of follow this work that you're interested in the evolution and the being becoming aspects of what it is to lead a life of compassion, connection, kindness, what it means to be healing centered and trauma informed that yeah.
As we, as we embark on this new year remind ourselves right that yes, yay, it's the beginning of the year I get a clean slate. I'm going to do all these really cool things and my intention is to step up to the plate and and live my best self, but I also want [00:18:00] to just remind you. That you actually get to do that every morning you wake up, you get to choose, you get to set an intention and, and to be honest, it's not just when you wake up.
I mean, that's a cool time to think about it, but you get to do it every unfolding moment in the day. You don't like how the last moment unfolded, then just. Wake up and set an intention and make a choice to do it differently to be it differently to be you differently in that next unfolding moment. And so that's really kind of how I wanted to kick off the season.
I do want to tell you I'm super pumped about the folks that I've been getting to chat with over, you know, the past few weeks and stuff and and set up that those. So those podcasts for you in the ensuing months. [00:19:00] We'll probably run this season up through April, and I'm going to pop in every now and again and share my two cents, an article, or a thought, or a book but I also would love for you guys to share back in the chat, reply to the email.
However you want to communicate with me what would you like to hear? What would you like to be exposed to? What would you like to explore? I want this to feel very conversational, even though it does feel pretty one way as I'm sitting here, you know, staring at the microphone chatting at my computer screen.
I do want this to have value for you. I don't want this to just be something else that's cluttering up your inbox. So. Thanks again for listening. And I hope you'll dial in next week when we will have our our first official guest of season two. Take care. Thanks so very much for listening. Have a great day.
[00:20:00]
